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I Promise [Jan. 28th, 2004|03:16 pm]
imaladdin
I will have a new journal by tonight. I promise. I've been really busy and I haven't had the time, but expect to read about this guy named Fabio or something who is the cook at breakfast who is a big jerk and a concert at the mondavi center that was like a satanic temple concert.
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Dem Krazy Oriental People Pt 2 [Jan. 20th, 2004|06:42 pm]
imaladdin
How should I begin? Okay. I got it:

My suitemate is crazy.

Is it me or are math majors eccentric? If you answered yes, continue on with my journal to page 3. If you answered no, go to page 2.

Page 2.
Oh no. A giant spider came down, spun you up in its web and sucked out all your blood. You died long and painfully.

The End


Page 3.
You survived!! But will you be able to survive the horrific stories ahead of you? This is based all on fact, so please, if you are pregnant or the elderly grab your depends. If you are a young'n, pee rite now. I am telling you you will either find the following stories of my suitemate so scary you pee in fright, or so funny you pee in delight.

Friday night. It was dark and cloudy. I was hungry for dinner so decided to run to the Dining Hall to eat. My best friend/roommate went back home to Fresno so I was to eat alone like a black person at a KKK bar-b-q. But behold. My strange and eccentric suitemate decides to join me after finishing up his last "seyonce" online (Who knew Ouji went digital?). So we got food, or at least I did. I don't really consider raw bread, chocolate milk, and a slice of American Cheese (fake)as a meal. So after 5 minutes of lethal silence I decided to start the conversation- like always. So I asked him how his classes are. Silence. When his midterms were. Silence. I called out his name. Silence. Instead he was staring at his chocolate milk in a trance and with the scariest grin on his face. He started rubbing his hands together like Mr. Burns in The Simpsons and I was waiting for him to say "eggcellent". Then out of the blue he snapped out of his trance and left.

Ok I'm done for today. I'll write more stories later.
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My Time [Jan. 14th, 2004|11:20 pm]
imaladdin
Took some time out to write in my journal. I have gotten rave reviews about it. Well now that I am critically acclaimed I guess I should stop blabbering about it and start on my writing.

Well today it was freezing cold and it started to rain. I think its become a new thing at Davis to rain. Its been raining here more than our neighbor David eats (steals our food). Today I almost passed out in English. You want to hear the essay's title that we had to read: What's in a package. Thats right folks; the essay I had to read on and write a page about was an in-depth analytical look into America's packaging. Big deal you might say..say that after reading 10 pages of it. This week our Dining Commons decided to go all out and make Diversity Week. India, Greece, Central America, and Morocco have been chosen. This is to quote on quote "open people's minds and make them more accepting of other cultures." Basically what they are trying to stop hate and discrimination. But I am sorry. The way that food was cooked so far this week, I'm pretty sure they are creating more hate than stoppin it. Don't even get me started on India night. It felt like the food was made with water from the Ganga (aka the same river that the buffalos and people bathe in). Then Greece day came and I almost puked; not a great fan of feta cheese let alone feta cheese mashed in with garbanzo pancakes. Today was not so bad. Maybe its cuz I only had one thing cuz the rest was pork stuff. They had tres leches, too bad it was the white version. How is it the white version- it was white cake with cream cheese icing, thats how. I'm sleepy. I have class at 7:30 in the morning and it's gonna be freezing. OH before I forget- the crows have been acting suspicious lately. Whenever my alarm goes off it sounds like a baseball arena. The crows are so loud. And on top of that when I go outside to ride my bike they are everywhere in the sky. The sky is practically black. Either its cuz I saved a crow last week and they are saying thanks, or my suitemate (the one that flaps his wings and does Ouiji online- tell you about that later) is like Willard but with crows.
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Things that have been getting on my nerves lately [Jan. 13th, 2004|10:02 am]
imaladdin
Instant messaging abbreviations-

NETSCAPE: blah blah blah
AOL: LOL!!!
NETSCAPE: blah blah blah
AOL: OMG..LOL!! LMAO!! ROFL!!!
NETSCAPE: Okay, I have to go to the bathroom.
AOL: Ok. ttyl. wait phone call. brb

GAAAH!

Clay Aiken and Beyonce-

Everytime I turn on the radio I either hear things about baby boys or about how someones invincible. What drives me crazy even more is that people scream out how sexy Clay is and how "they want Clay". Sorry to break the news to you. But he doesn't want you, he wants your brother.

Our President and Mayor Guliani-

Hello, um our president is stupider than we are. Have you heard him talk? And thats after Yale/Harvard writing experts write his speech for him. Whenever I see him I LOL. AND I JUST LOVE HOW HE CAN STAND THERE AND TALK ABOUT HOW ILLEGAL AFFIRMATIVE ACTION IS. Lets see. A 1200 on the SATs and he got into Yale? I wonder how that happened. On top of that he talks about how abortion is wrong etc. but you know if he knocked up someone besides his wife he would make her have an abortion. And the Mayor. Claps for him. He should be so proud how he went from number one scum to Person of the Year so fast. I love how people seem to just forget about his past and applaude him. Now whenever someone says his name, everyone will think of solidarity, unity, strong bonding, love. If only his marriage and attitude towards colored people was the same. ALL POLITICIANS ARE HYPOCRITICAL.

Dr. Phil-

One word: he's not a psychologist yet he has a show on it. I have a question then: after hearing that, would you consider dr. phil a talk show or a soap opera?

UC DAVIS BOOKSTORE and the Dining Commons-

How greedy can someone be? How about our bookstore and the Dining Commons? I just bought a Chem textbook from the Bookstore for 130 dollars. I just found it on ebay for 60 dollars. Even if they do buy it back, will i get 70 dollars back from the bookstore? Not likely. The Dining Commons- the stinkiest place after the public restroom. But even the public restroom doesn't stick onto your clothes and follow you wherever you go. The DC (dining commons) has a "express checkout" where they have a range of grape soda- frappacinos, sandwiches- red baron pizza. But heres the catch. 3 sodas are for a swipe. A pizza is for a swipe..etc. A swipe gets you into the DC where you can eat all you want. Basically what im trying to say is that a swipe is about 5-7 dollars. A small personal pan pizza for 5-7 dollars? WHAT A BARGAIN!

Arnold Schwartzaneggar-

He doesn't know how to speak English, he doesn't know how to act, but apparently to most of California he knows how to be Governer even though he doesn't have an educational background in what he's doing. Besides stealing platform ideas from other candidates and making them his "own" or should I saw "aahhown", he decides to increase tuition for colleges once again- 500 bucks more. Then he decides to cut down on teachers aid, financial aid, funds to fund internet in schools, and funds to fund outreach programs. Oh and he wants to cut down on how many people get accepted to UCs. Basically he is like Condoleeza Rice and wants poor and minorities to be out of college. Maybe its cuz he found out that there is a decrease in employees at McDonalds. Or maybe its cuz he wants to increase his salary and maybe get speech lessons. I don't know if it will pass, but if people are stupid enough to vote for Arnold, then they are stupid enough to vote in favor of these cut-backs. All i gots to say is that the man is getting on my nerves.
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Dem Krazy Oriental Peopl [Jan. 13th, 2004|09:35 am]
imaladdin
Well I have had quite the unique experiences with the Asian race ever since I moved to Davis. Already traumatized by my suitemate actually taking R. Kelly's song to heart and flapping his wings with a fly swatter in his hands, I felt that nothing more unusual could happen to me. Well it did.

Scene: Tuesday morning
Location: On Campus, Social Science bldg
Time: 8:50 am

ME- WOW! Wasn't chemistry just so damn "exciting"?
ROOMMATE- I don't know I was asleep.
ME- Well I am going to go turn in my application for Borders and then off to the haircutters. I'll see you later tonight.
ROOMMATE- Okay.

End Scene

Scene 2

Scene: Tuesday morning
Location: Off Campus, Dolly's Clippers
Time: 9:30 am

ME- I hope I get the job at Borders. But first, lets hope they are open.
Door opens to a very empty Dolly's Clippers
HAIRCUTTER- Oh! Hello, welcum welcum. You need hair clip rite? (She cut my hair last time so she remembered me.)
ME- Hi. Yah I need a haircut.
HAIRCUTTER- Oh oohkay. I give you hair clip and I make you handsum 'gain.
ME- Ha...ha...ha thanks.
HAIRCUTTER- How do you like clip?
ME- Short on the sides a little short on the top.
HAIRCUTTER- What number you like. One, thu, twee, oh fo
ME- I'm sorry. I forgot what number.
HAIRCUTTER- Its oohkay. I cut fo then you tell me fine or more short.
ME- Ok
The haircutter proceeds to cut my hair
HAIRCUTTER- Fine?
ME- No. Its too long. Can you please cut shorter. Use a 2.
HAIRCUTTER- Ok
The haircutter procedds to cut my hair with a 3
ME- Did you just cut with three or two?
HAIRCUTTER- twee
ME- Oh. I said I wanted a 2.
At that moment the scissors and cutting utensils are slammed onto the countertop. The haircutter seems to be distressed about the situation. Her cheeks turn red, her eyes go to a squint. Her sentences become more obscure.
HAIRCUTTER- I cut it. I cut it. I cut it.
ME- Huh?
HAIRCUTTER- I can cut no 6 times. You are pain.
ME- I'm sorry. I forgot you have so many customers in line waiting right now!
HAIRCUTTER- I cut now. But i can't cut 5-6 times all the time.
ME- Excuse me? I asked for a 2 and you cut with a 3. No this is perfectly fine. I'm done.
HAIRCUTTER- Ok. REMEMBA YO NUMBA!
ME- Ok.
HAIRCUTER- 10 dollars.
ME- Excuse me?
HAIRCUTTER- 10 dollars.
ME- The sign outside says 7 dollars for students
HAIRCUTTER- No. Unless you have fryer you can't. You pay 10
ME- Fryer?
HAIRCUTTER- Yes fryer.
Picks up their flyer and points to it
ME- This isn't the first time I came here and I always pay 7 dollars and I never bring a flyer.
At that moment I took out 7 dollars, gave it to her and proceeded to leave.

END ACT
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